‘Thornbacks’ by Jocelyn Ulevicus

When a woman from my sober group
confessed to me that she felt invisible,
I did and didn’t feel that—the tension of
aging out of the civil hold society still has
on its women. The question burning its
women is not, should I drink, but how do
I stay relevant as my body changes, without
having given birth or given away my name
and even still, to be known is the ultimate
disobedience—sitting with my two breasts out,
carving space in the remembered world.
I wanted more for my own mother, even if
that meant not having given birth to me.
That’s what I think of when I see a particular
wedding image of her pitched on a small
green hill, carving space against a stark blue sky,
her veil caught in the wind as if to say it knew
something none of us did.

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In "Thornbacks," a poem by Jocelyn Ulevicus from her upcoming poetry debut, 'The Difference Between Breathing and Swallowing,' the speaker grapples with the tension of ageing and the societal pressures placed on women. A confession from a woman in their sober group about feeling invisible sparks a complex response within the speaker. They reflect on the struggle to stay relevant as their bodies change, even without giving birth or sacrificing their identity. The poem evokes a vivid image of the speaker's mother, standing defiantly on a green hill, her veil caught in the wind, hinting at a deeper understanding. "Thornbacks" prompts contemplation of identity, visibility, and the quest for self-realization amidst societal expectations.